Pride and Prejudice and Ponies
by Professor Snaglefoompus
Summary: Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle. Basically, it's a pony version of Pride and Prejudice, starring the lovely-but-headstrong Rarity Bennet, and the upscale-but-cold-mannered Mr. Fancypants Darcy. Will Rarity and Darcy find true love with each other, or will they be blinded by their own pride and prejudice?
1. Prologue

Twilight Sparkle and Sweetie Belle were walking through town together. Sweetie had just finished her second magic lesson with Twilight, and she was making good progress. True, she couldn't levitate objects yet, but with some effort, she could consistently maintain a magic glow for ten seconds.

To Twilight's surprise, a white stallion with a loud Hawaiian shirt was waiting for them outside of the Carousel Boutique. "Sweetie Belle!" the stallion said, lowering down on his haunches.

"Daddy!" Sweetie Belle cried. She ran and hugged him.

The white stallion introduced himself as Sweetie Belle and Rarity's father. He eagerly shook hooves with Twilight. "Any friend of my daughters is a friend of mine," he said. "It's nice to meet you, Twilight."

"Where's Mom?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Your mother is inside with Rarity," the stallion said. "You two go inside and chase her out, okay? If I have to wait much longer, I'll fall asleep standing up."

"Okay!" Sweetie Belle agreed. Twilight used her magic to open the front door of the Carousel Boutique, and the two unicorns waked inside. In the main room, Rarity was arguing loudly with a pink unicorn whose purple beehive hairdo was almost as gaudy as her husband's t-shirt. Twilight recognized her as a pony who had checked out a few travel books from the library.

"—saying that you need foals of your own!" the older unicorn said, glaring angrily at Rarity.

_"Mother!"_ Rarity cried, stamping her foot. "I'm too young to have foals! Besides, I'm not even married yet!"

"And whose fault is that?" the older unicorn asked. "Last month, I set you up on a nice date with that farmer pony—"

"Which was an utter disaster!" Rarity protested. "Big Macintosh is my friend's brother!"

"How was _I _supposed to know that?" Rarity's mother asked.

"Gee, you could have _asked_, before you _tricked me into dating him!_" Rarity said.

Twilight grimaced, feeling uncomfortable to be watching this scene. She leaned a bit closer to Sweetie Belle. "Do they always do this?" Twilight whispered.

"Sometimes..." Sweetie Belle said.

The argument continued. "You can't fool me!" Rarity's mother said. "I heard rumors about some well-to-do unicorn from Canterlot coming to visit you last week!"

Rarity backed away at this. "That...that's personal," she said.

"You should have introduced him to me!" Rarity's mother said. "What was his name? I think it started with an 'F'. Flim? Flugelhorn? Fancy?"

Rarity's face was starting to turn a deeper shade of purple than her mane. Jumping in to her friend's aid, Twilight shouted, "Fitzwilliam Darcy!"

Both Rarity and her mother jumped backwards in surprise a bit at Twilight's outburst, and they turned to face her.

"Twilight, Sweetie Belle," Rarity said, in a voice which was a mix of exhaustion and frustration. "I didn't see you two come in! Mother was just leaving. _Weren't you, Mother?_"

Rarity's mother was not so easily distracted. "You're the librarian, aren'tcha?" she asked. "What was that name you said? Fits Durcy?"

"Rarity was meeting with Mr. Darcy," Twilight said. "He spends most of his time at his estate up in Pemberly."

Relief flooded Rarity's face, followed by a small grin. "His aunt, Lady Catherine, doesn't approve of our courtship," she said. "She thinks I'm too low-class."

"Hmph!" Rarity's mother said. She took a few steps over to Sweetie Belle and hugged her. "You two are the most wonderful daughters in the world. It doesn't matter if ponies look down on you for being poor. You're both high-class in _my_ book."

Sweetie Belle muttered something about Diamond Tiara, while Rarity sighed deeply. "Yes, I know," Rarity said. "And no matter what I say, I _do_ love you, Mother. Just...leave my love life alone, okay?"

"Only if you introduce me to this Mr. Darcy fellow," Rarity's mother said.

"I swear to Celestia that I will have Mr. Darcy over for dinner with our family, when he visits Ponyville," Rarity said, in her most sincere voice.

"That's all I wanted to hear!" Rarity's mother said happily. She started to leave the store, giving last-minute instructions to her daughters. "Take good care of Sweetie Belle this weekend, okay? Sweetie, no crusading. Rarity, no fashioning. Don't forget to do your homework, and treat each other well, okay? I love you both!"

"Bye, Mom!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Goodbye!" Rarity said, waving her hoof.

The instant Rarity's mother closed the door behind her, Rarity collapsed onto the nearest sofa. "Ugh," Rarity said, in an unladylike fashion. "How was the magic lesson, Sweetie?"

"Great!" Sweetie Belle said. "Twilight's really smart as a teacher! Maybe I'll get a magic cutie mark, just like her!"

Twilight chuckled nervously. "I'm not _that_ good at magic..." she said.

"Thank you for helping out with my sister, Twilight," Rarity said. "_And_ my mother. If you two hadn't come in—"

"Don't mention it," Twilight said. "We're just lucky your mom hasn't read Pride and Prejudice."

Rarity chuckled. "I _do_ make an elegant Elizabeth Bennet, don't I?" she asked.

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I don't understand."

"Mr. Darcy and Ms. Bennet are characters from a famous book," Rarity said. "If you want, I can read it to you sometime."

Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Sure, I guess," she said.

Rarity chatted a bit with Twilight, before the purple unicorn left to return to the library.

As the day went on, Rarity's thoughts kept returning to Pride and Prejudice. Now that Rarity thought about it, her life was a bit like that novel. She was from a family of all girls, and she had dreams of entering high society. Like Mr. Bennet, Rarity's father enjoyed telling jokes, and like Mrs. Bennet, Rarity's mother was overly obsessed with her daughters' love lives.

So that night, Rarity decided to read Pride and Prejudice to her little sister as a bedtime story. While Sweetie Belle got comfortable inside her blankets, Rarity picked up the book and began to read. "This is the story of a beautiful mare named Rarity Bennet, and how, to her great surprise, she found herself falling in love."

Sweetie Belle's nose wrinkled. "Is it _really_ about a mare named Rarity?" she asked.

"It is now," Rarity smiled.


	2. Chapter 1

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were a happy and sad couple, who lived in the Carousel Boutique in the quaint little town of Ponyville. Their happiness, as well as their sadness, rested upon the fact that they had five daughters. As a result, there was rarely a dull or quiet moment at the Bennet House.

"My goodness!" Mr. Bennet said, holding his hooves over his ears as he walked through the sitting room. "You girls make almost as much noise as your mother does!"

Mrs. Bennet, who had entered the room with her husband, frowned slightly. "That's not funny, dear," she said. "But I could hear the commotion from all the way in the kitchen. Why were you shouting, Sweetie Belle?"

"Scootaloo got her cutie mark today!" Sweetie Belle whined. "Now I'm the _only_ filly in school who doesn't have one!"

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Bennet said.

"Fluttershy says she and Rainbow Dash got their cutie marks when they were ten!" Sweetie Belle said. "But I'm _eleven! _When am I gonna be old enough to get a cutie mark?!"

"Age has nothing to do with it," Mr. Bennet said. "Why, your sister Rarity got her cutie mark when she was...um...how old were you again?"

"I remember, it was the month before Sweetie Belle was born," Rarity said. "I was nine."

"AAAAAAAA!" Sweetie Belle screamed.

"Sweetie Belle Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet said. "No screaming inside the house! A lady does not scream!"

"Huh," Mr. Bennet said. "Good thing I'm not a lady, then. Pinkie Pie would—" he stopped and did a quick head count of his family members. "Girls, where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh no!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Don't tell me she's run off _again!_"

"Relax, she just went to get some cookies from the store," Rainbow Dash said.

"Without adult supervision?!" Mrs. Bennet cried. "She could get hurt! Or robbed! Or she could meet her future husband, without anypony there to introduce her to him!"

Everypony in the room groaned, except for Mrs. Bennet.

"What?" she asked. "That _could_ happen, and it would be a disaster! A tragedy! A reason for—"

"Darling," Mr. Bennet said calmly. "Do you remember what I told you last month? When you forced Pinkie to get a job at Sugarcube Corners, because you thought Mr. Cake would fall in love with her?"

"That is a _completely_ different situation!" Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "After all, how was _I_ supposed to know he's already married?"

"Um...he works with Mrs. Cake," Fluttershy pointed out.

"I thought she was his mother!" Mrs. Bennet said. "And besides, he and Pinkie make such a cute couple. I don't see how you could blame me for one innocent mistake!"

Rarity, who still remembered the Hearts and Hooves Day she had been forced to spend with Hayseed Turnip Truck, muttered something unkind under her breath. Rainbow Dash, the only one close enough to hear anything, smirked at her.

They didn't have long to wait before Pinkie Pie returned. A few minutes later, the front door burst open and Pinkie Pie ran in. "Super important news, everypony!" she said. "Super _duper_ important news!"

"Pinkamena Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet scolded. "What have I told you about going out alone?"

"_Mom!_" Pinkie whined. "I don't need a foalsitter to take me everywhere! I'm almost an adult!"

"You don't turn 18 for two more months!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Why, when _I_ was your age—"

Mr. Bennet interrupted, hoping to avoid an argument. "What's the news, Pinkie?" he asked.

_"New ponies in town!"_ Pinkie said, bouncing around the room. "There are _new ponies in town!_"

All the Bennets let out exclamations of interest at this, and they crowded around Pinkie Pie, asking questions. Pinkie was glad to be the center of attention.

"You know Granny Smith, the old mare who lives at Sweet Apple Acres?" Pinkie Pie asked. "She finally sold her farm to some of her relatives! I caught a glimpse of them as they were moving their luggage through town!"

"What were they like?" everypony wanted to know.

"Two of them were mares," Pinkie said. "They both looked kind of nasty, if you ask me. One was orange, and she's around our age. The other one was a yellow filly."

"Does she have a cutie mark?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't remember," Pinkie Pie said. "But the _third_ pony! Oh my gosh! His name is Big Macintosh, and it _fits_, because he's the largest stallion I've ever seen!"

"A _stallion?_" Mrs. Bennet cried. She picked up Fluttershy and spun around in a circle. "Do you hear that, Fluttershy? We found you a husband!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy said, blushing.

"Dear, you're moving too quickly again..." Mr. Bennet said, holding a hoof to his forehead.

"Nonsense," Mrs. Bennet said. "It is a universally acknowledged truth that if a stallion is single and in possession of a good fortune, he needs a wife. And our girls are the prettiest, most elegant, most _wonderful_ mares in town! Mr. Macintosh is sure to fall in love with one of them, when we invite him over for dinner tonight!"

_"Tonight?"_ the girls gasped.

"Talk about short notice!" Rainbow Dash complained.

"I don't have anything to wear..." Fluttershy said.

"But I was going to visit my friend Twilight!" Rarity said.

"You'll have to change your plans," Mrs. Bennet said. "If you don't stay for dinner, how are you going to meet Mr. Macintosh?"

"Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everypony that moves to Ponyville gets a big _Welcome to Ponyville_ party, right? We can meet the Bingleys there!"

"A party? Even _better!_" Mrs. Bennet said. "You can dance the night away with Mr. Macintsoh! The bonds of love will flow as swiftly as your feet! Your father and I first met at a dance, you know!"

Mrs. Bennet starting humming a waltz. She stood up on her hind legs and grabbed her husband, forcing him to dance along with her.

"Darling...there's a...problem..." Mr. Bennet said, trying to keep pace with his wife's hooves.

"What's that, dear?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

"We haven't been invited to any party yet," Mr. Bennet said.

Mrs. Bennet gasped and dropped her husband. He fell on the floor with a loud crash. "Oh my Celestia, you're right!" she said. "You'll have to get us an invitation!"

_"Me?"_ Mr. Bennet asked, rubbing his right hind leg as he got up from the ground. "I'm not the one who wants to marry him! Why don't you send our daughters?"

"It would be improper for one of our daughters to call on him!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You're the only stallion in our family, so _you_ have to be the one to meet Mr. Macintosh."

"Fine, fine, I'll get going," Mr. Bennet laughed. "You girls take care of your mother while I'm gone, okay?"

The girls all kissed their father goodbye, as he put on his hat and travelling coat.

"Good luck with Mr. Macintosh," Fluttershy said.

"Make sure to tell us all about him," Rarity said.

"Let me know if the filly has a cutie mark!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Don't come back until you get an invitation to the welcoming party at Sweet Apple Acres!" Mrs. Bennet called.

Mr. Bennet shook his head and smiled as he left. "You know," he said to no one in particular, "she wasn't _quite _this forceful about relationships when I was courting her."


	3. Chapter 2

The welcoming party at Sweet Apple Acres took place the following Saturday night. About thirty mares and seven stallions were invited, including a few of Big Macintosh's relatives. Mrs. Bennet was not very happy with that particular mare-to-stallion ration; Mr. Bennet remarked that the stallions probably had no problems with the situation.

Big Macintosh Bingley was there to personally greet the Bennets, when they arrived. Big Macintosh was good-looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy manners that were charmingly rustic.

"Howdy," Big Macintosh said to Mr. Bennet. "This must be your family."

The girls all lined up, and Mr. Bennet introduced them in turn. Big Macintosh nodded at each of the girls, then frowned slightly when Mr. Bennet ended by introducing his wife. "What about the one with the pink mane?" he asked.

"YAY!" Pinkie Pie said, jumping forward. "I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm the cutest!"

Big Macintosh seemed a bit rattled by Pinkie's enthusiasm. "No, I mean...the mare behind Rainbow Dash."

"Oh," Rainbow Dash said. She stepped aside to reveal Fluttershy, who had been trying to hide behind her sister. Fluttershy took a small step forward, her head hanging low and her hair over her face.

"That's Fluttershy," Mr. Bennet said. "She's the eldest. Stand up straight, dear."

Fluttershy lifted up her head and looked at Big Macintosh. She let out a small gasp of surprise when he smiled at her.

"Miss Fluttershy," Big Macintosh said, holding out his hoof to her. "Will you do me the honor of giving me your first dance of the evening?"

Fluttershy let out a small squeak.

"What was that?" Big Macintosh frowned.

"I said—"

"Big Mac! There you are!" a voice shouted. Two seconds later, an angry-looking orange mare with an unfashionable Stetson hat stepped forward. "Stop getting flirty with the guests and get ta work! You gotta finish takin' out all the chairs!"

"Ah, Applejack!" Big Macintosh said. He gestured towards the Bennets. "Everypony, this is my sister Applejack. Applejack, this is the Bennet family."

"Pleased to meet you, Applejack," Rarity said graciously. "My name is—"

"Whatever," Applejack said. "Just get movin', Big Mac. This is _your_ party, so _you_ gotta take care of it!"

"Please, excuse me," Big Macintosh said. "It was a pleasure meeting you all."

"YES!" Fluttershy shouted.

Everypony looked at Fluttershy, and she turned beet red. "Yes, I'll save my first dance for you," she said.

Big Macintosh smiled widely, as his sister pushed him out of the way. Mrs. Bennet immediately rounded on Fluttershy and gave her a barrage of advice that didn't end until Mr. Bennet dragged her away. The Bennets then broke off into little groups; Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash went off together, while Sweetie Belle went in search of somepony her own age. As for Rarity, she decided to speak with some of the ponies she didn't know.

Big Macintosh and his sisters were the highlight of the party, but there was one stallion in particular who gathered a good deal of attention on his own. He was an elegant unicorn named Mr. Darcy, with a fancy little mustache and high society manners. The fact that he owned an estate up in Derbyshire, worth about ten thousand bits a year, did not hurt his popularity in the slightest.

No, what ruined Mr. Darcy's popular was his foul attitude towards anypony besides the Apples. It was clear he did not wanted to attend this party, and he dismissed all who came to talk to him. Indeed, when Pinkie Pie tried to introduce herself, he abruptly sneered and walked away.

Dancing started about a half-hour into the party. Due to the lack of stallions in attendance, Rarity was obliged to sit down for the first several dances. She decided to amuse herself by getting a drink at the refreshments table. When Big Macintosh tried to convince his standoffish friend to join in the festivities, Rarity was close enough to overhear the entire conversation.

"Come on, Darcy," said Big Macintosh, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance."

"I certainly shall not," Mr. Darcy said. "You know how much I detest dancing with complete strangers. Dancing with one of the mares here would be more of a punishment than an enjoyment."

"A punishment?" Big Macintosh laughed. "If you got off your high horse and actually _talked_ to a mare, you'd see they're not so bad. In fact, in my whole life, I've never met so many pleasant mares as I have this evening!"

"Common folk are always simple-minded," Mr. Darcy said. "I would much rather be back at Canterlot."

"They may be common folk, but the mares are uncommonly pretty," Big Mac said, nudging his friend. "Even you can't deny that."

"Easy for you to say!" said Mr. Darcy, looking at Fluttershy. "You are dancing with the only beautiful girl in the room."

Big Macintosh blushed slightly. "She _is_ the most beautiful creature I've ever seen," she said. "But if I were you, I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Why, there's one of her sisters getting a drink just behind you. She seems rather agreeable. I can ask Fluttershy to introduce you."

"Hm? Who do you mean?" Mr. Darcy asked. He turned to look at Rarity, who quickly turned her head away to make it seem like she had not been spying on them. Knowing that the best-looking stallion in the area was watching her, Rarity smiled charmingly and struck a pose which showed off her dress.

"She is tolerable, but not pretty enough to tempt _me_," said Mr. Darcy disdainfully, looking away after a second.

Rarity's jaw dropped.

"I am in not in the mood to humor young ladies, who are not good enough to get dance partners of their own. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

"Hmph!" Rarity said to herself. "The only waste of time here would be talking with such a rude stallion!"

Rarity marched off, intent on finding some friends and telling them what had just happened. Mr. Darcy's behavior called for a round of immediate, severe mocking. Rarity quickly found her best friend, Twilight Sparkle, conversing with Rainbow Dash and Mr. Bennet.

"I just heard the most _ridiculous_ thing!" Rarity said, as she stepped towards them.

"Oh, dear," Mr. Bennet said. "Don't tell me you _also_ have been talking about the town's newest dancing champion!"

"What?" Rarity asked.

"Big Macintosh," Rainbow Dash explained. "He and Fluttershy shared two dances in a row."

"Really?" Rarity asked. She turned her gaze to the dance floor. "It looks like he's dancing with Pinkie Pie now."

"Well, he danced with _me_ first," Twilight said.

Mr. Bennet let out a loud, fake groan. "I can't keep track of all of his dancing!" he said. "If only he had sprained his ankle! Then my life would be complete!"

"I am sure he is just being polite and dancing with all the mares here, so nopony is left out," Rarity said. "However, his friend Mr. Darcy is _not_ polite! He said I was not pretty enough to dance with him!"

Twilight gasped in horror, while Mr. Bennet pretended to faint.

"Ouch," Rainbow Dash said. "Want me to beat him up for you?"

"Perhaps," Rarity said. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Which one is Mr. Darcy?" Twilight asked.

Rarity pointed him out. "He's the unicorn, standing next to the barn, doing nothing and looking absolutely bored. Of course, that's what he _should_ be doing, seeing as he turned down the best entertainment of the night."

"You're starting to sound like your mother," Mr. Bennet said. "Celestia help us."

The four of them continued to chat, until Big Macintosh interrupted.

"Pardon me, Miss Bennet," Big Macintosh said. "Would you care to dance?"

"Yeah, it'd—" Rainbow began to say.

"I'd love to," Rarity said, interrupted, stepping in front of her sister. "As long as it's not here. I'd prefer to dance _by the barn_."


	4. Chapter 3

"So, how do you like the party so far, Miss Bennet?" Big Macintosh asked, as he and Rarity danced in front of the barn.

"It's been wonderful," Rarity said. She cast a glance at Mr. Darcy, who was glowering at her and Big Macintosh. "It's just a shame _some_ ponies don't seem capable of enjoying themselves."

Big Macintosh followed her gaze. "Ah," he chuckled. "Don't mind my friend none. He's a lawyer. They ain't allowed to have fun."

Rarity laughed theatrically, and she grinned when she saw Mr. Darcy get up and walk away, scowling. "Why did you invite such a stick-in-the-mud to a party like this, anyway?"

"I kinda had to," Big Macintosh said. "He's gonna be staying in town for a little while, helping me with all the paperwork and such for the farm. I imagine he'll leave after that."

"Do you intend to stay in Ponyville very long?" Rarity asked.

"Well, I should probably leave once I get the farm business up and going," Big Macintosh said. "But there might be something to keep me here a while longer."

"Some_thing_ or some_pony?_" Rarity asked pointedly.

Big Macintosh chuckled again. "There are some very nice ladies here in Ponyville," he said. "I certainly wouldn't mind getting to know some of them better."

The song came to an end, and the two dance partners broke off. Big Macintosh went to find another dance partner, while Rarity went to speak with Twilight Sparkle. Twilight and Rarity were the dearest of friends, both of them being unicorns. Twilight was much older than Rarity, at age twenty-seven, but at present, she was acting like a much younger pony.

"How did you enjoy dancing with Big Macintosh?" Twilight asked giddily. "Isn't he _charming?_"

"He is perfectly gentleman-like," Rarity said. "But I do not think he is interested in me. Another pony has caught his eye."

Twilight squealed. "Maybe it's me!" she said. "I hope he likes me. He _did_ pick me to be his first dance partner of the night, after all. I was _very_ affectionate when we were together."

"Affectionate? You?" Rarity asked. "It's not like you to be so...forward, with a stallion you've just met."

"Well, Big Macintosh is a potential suitor," Twilight said. "In nine cases out of ten, a mare should show more affection than she feels. That is the best way to get a stallion's attention."

Rarity disagreed. She once had a bad experience at the Grand Galloping Gala, where a rude stallion tried to take advantage of her generous nature. "Affection is not so important," Rarity said. "What matters most is learning about a stallion's character, and whether or not he is compatible with you."

"Compatibility is overrated," Twilight said. "Happiness is marriage is merely a matter of chance. Knowing what your husband is like ahead of time does not increase the happiness of a marriage."

"Is that so?" Rarity asked.

"It is," Twilight said. "In fact, it is better _not _to get to know your husband, before the wedding. That way, you will know as little as possible about his faults and defects."

_Perhaps Twilight's age is making her a bit more...desperate, when it comes to potential suitors,_ Rarity decided. She wisely did not mention this thought out loud.

"You make me laugh, Twilight," Rarity said. "We both know your argument is not sound, and you would never act in such a manner."

"Yes, well..." Twilight said. "It's been a long time since a new stallion has come to town, and my mother..."

"Say no more," Rarity said. Twilight's mother, Lady Luna, was even _more_ obsessed with relationships than Mrs. Bennet, if that was possible. Whenever Lady Luna started shouting about her daughter being single, everypony had the urge to run and hide. "My mother is certain that Fluttershy will find true love tonight."

"She might not be wrong," Twilight said, gazing forlornly at the dance floor, where Fluttershy was dancing with Big Macintosh for the third time.

* * *

Eventually, the night came to an end, and everypony left for home. As the Bennet family took their carriage to the Carousel Boutique, they all discussed the party. Mr. Bennet was the first to declare that it had been a tiresome event, with too much dancing and not enough desserts. His wife and daughters soon overrode his opinion.

Pinkie Pie had enjoyed herself; she had a partner for every single dance, and that was all she cared about. Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle had tried to befriend Big Macintosh's somewhat haughty sisters. Sweetie Belle was successful in winning over Apple Bloom, but Rainbow Dash had brought out Applejack's competitive side; the two of them had argued over who was the most athletic.

Sensing it was her turn to speak, Rarity said, "I had a perfectly enjoyable time, speaking with Twilight."

"Oh, Rarity, you don't have to pretend!" Mrs. Bennet said, hugging her daughter. "I heard all about what that dreadful Mr. Darcy said! Who does he think he is, insulting you like that?"

"I could care less what Mr. Darcy thinks," Rarity said. "He is not worth my time."

"The most handsome stallion at the party, spurning my daughter!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Why, if this story gets out, you may never find a date again! You'll die an old maid!"

"Eh, he wasn't that good looking," Rainbow Dash said.

"No way, he was smoking hot!" Pinkie Pie said. "But he was a _jerk! _He didn't want to talk to me either!"

"Two of my daughters spurned!" Mrs. Bennet said. "This Mr. Darcy has irreparably insulted our family! My dear Mr. Bennet, you must defend the honor of our name by challenging him to a duel!"

"Can't I challenge him to a game of checkers instead?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"He is only going to be in town for a short time," Rarity said. "Hopefully, a _very_ short time. After that, I imagine Mr. Darcy can go back to admiring himself, full time."

"Um..." Fluttershy said in a small voice. "He can't be _that_ bad, if he's friends with Mr. Macintosh. I don't think Mr. Macintosh would be friends with a mean pony..."

"And Fluttershy!" Mrs. Bennet said, fondly nuzzling her daughter. "You were the triumph of the night! When is your date with Mr. Macintosh?"

"D-date?" Fluttershy asked, turning red. "We...we didn't talk about...that..."

"But you danced with him four times!" Mrs. Bennet said. "He only danced _once_ with every other mare! He clearly favors you, as his mare of choice!"

"Oh, no, he was just being friendly," Fluttershy said. "I'm sure he's not interested in courting me."

But when Fluttershy was alone with Rarity and Rainbow Dash, her cautious assessment of Big Macintosh Bingley was thrown aside, in favor of direct admiration.

"He is just what a young stallion ought to be!" Fluttershy said, opening her wings halfway. "He's sensible, good-humored and lively! I never saw such happy manners!"

"I'm glad you found somepony you like, 'Shy," Rainbow Dash said.

"He is also handsome," Rarity remarked. "And certainly, a young stallion ought to be handsome, if he possibly can. It completes his character."

"I was so flattered when he asked me to dance with him more than once," Fluttershy said. "I did not expect such a compliment."

"Why _shouldn't_ he ask you to dance more than once?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Any other stallion would have done the same. You were about five times as pretty as every other mare in the room."

"I agree," Rarity said. "And I approve of Mr. Macintosh. You have liked many a stupider pony."

"Rarity!" Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash cried.

"I'm just saying, you can sometimes be too kind for your own good," Rarity said. "But I don't think we have to worry about that in Mr. Macintosh's case. He seems like a perfect gentlecolt."

"I think so, too," Fluttershy said. She blushed. "I really like him. I hope I get to see him again..."

"Well, there's only one way to make sure _that_ happens," Rainbow Dash said.

"What?" Rarity asked.

"You have to go visit him," Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh, no, I couldn't!" Fluttershy said. "I'm sure he's busy, and it'd be awfully rude to just barge in unexpectedly, and I...I..."

"Weren't you just saying how much you like him?" Rainbow Dash asked. "He likes you, too, you know. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Fluttershy gulped. "I...I'll do it," she said at last. "But you have to help me."

Rarity and Rainbow Dash immediately agreed.


	5. Chapter 4

The Bennet girls were known for being the most active mares in all of Ponyville. Not only were Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash the winners of the Running of the Leaves for the past six years, but all five sisters working together had set a few world records at the last year's Sisterhooves Social.

So it was somewhat odd that the five active girls chose to spend the next morning inside the room they shared together. A miniature platform had been set up in the middle of the room, and Fluttershy stood upon it, feeling very self-conscious.

"I'm jealous," Sweetie Belle said, as she combed Fluttershy's tail. "Your mane is so soft and straight! I wish mine was like that."

"There's nothing wrong with a curly mane," Rarity said. She held up two outfits. "Which one do you like more? Red or blue?"

"The blue one is my favorite," Fluttershy said. "But...um...do you think Mr. Macintosh will like it?"

"He likes _you_, Fluttershy," Rarity said. "I'm sure he'll be happy, no matter which outfit you wear."

"I just...I don't want to make any mistakes," Fluttershy said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "This is...really important to me..."

"I think you should run up to Mr. Macintosh and give him a humongous kiss on the lips!" Pinkie Pie said. "That way, you'll get all the awkwardness over and done with as soon as possible!"

Fluttershy blushed at the thought. "No, that's...I mean, it's..."

"You _wanna_ kiss him, don't you?" Pinkie asked. "I've never kissed a stallion, except for those three times which don't count. You have to tell me what it's like!"

"Don't listen to Pinkie," Rainbow Dash said. "She's still a little filly."

"I'm almost eighteen!" Pinkie protested.

"The point is that you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable," Rainbow Dash said. "If Mr. Macintosh gives you a hard time about anything, I'll sock him in the eyes."

"That's the problem," Fluttershy said. "I feel comfortable, and I feel uncomfortable, and...I don't know how to explain it, really."

"What do you mean?" Rarity asked, as she adjusted the dress' collar around Fluttershy's neck. The yellow pegasus' hair had been tied back into a bun, so she couldn't hide behind her mane, like she sometimes did when she was nervous.

"It's just...well, you know I'm not so good at talking to other ponies," Fluttershy said. "But last night, when I was with Mr. Macintosh, it wasn't like that. He's so good-natured and easy to talk to! I really like him!"

"So what's the problem?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"_That's_ the problem!" Fluttershy said. "I feel uncomfortable because he makes me feel comfortable! Does that make sense?"

"He's the first stallion you've ever liked, and things seem too good to be true," Rarity said. "It makes perfect sense that you're nervous."

"I still say there's nothing to worry about," Rainbow Dash said. "He's crazy about you, 'Shy. He'll like you, even if you manage to accidentally knock him into the lake."

"I still say kissing him wouldn't hurt your chances," Pinkie Pie said.

"Pinkie, aren't you supposed to be getting the food ready?" Rainbow Dash asked, exasperated.

"I got the picnic basket right here!" Pinkie said, holding it up.

"Perfect. So let's run through this one more time," Rainbow Dash said. "You remember what you're going to do, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I go to Sweet Apple Acres and ask Mr. Macintosh if he'd like to have lunch with me."

"Exactly. Let's try it out," Rainbow Dash said. She tried to imitate Big Macintosh's accent. "Whah hello thar, Miss Fluttaiysheei. Ah nevuh expected tuh see yo' hyear."

Sweetie Belle giggled. "That sounds nothing like him!" she said.

"Hush," Rarity said.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Macintosh," Fluttershy said, smiling a bit. "It's such a nice day that I thought I'd go out and have a picnic by the lake."

"Whai, thet sounds maihtee foine," Rainbow Dash said. "Hue are a rully smert pa-hony."

"Oh, dear, but I think I packed too much food," Fluttershy said. "There's no way I can eat all this by myself! Could you help me—this isn't going to work."

Rainbow Dash's face fell. "What? Why'd you stop?" she asked. "You were doing great!"

"No!" Fluttershy said. "It's so..._obvious!_ He's going to be suspicious that I packed too much food by accident! He'll be mad that I'm lying and trying to trick him, and—"

"Calm down," Rarity said, putting a hoof on Fluttershy's side. "How do you want to do this, then?"

"I...I want to be honest," Fluttershy said. "I want to ask him to eat with me, but I can't because he might say no, and—oh! I don't think I can do this! I want to just stay here at home!"

"Nuh uh!" Sweetie Belle said. "I've been combing your mane for fifteen minutes! You're going to show it off!"

"No, no, no!" Fluttershy said, shaking her head violently. "I can't risk it! He's not going to like me, anyway! _Nopony_ likes me!"

"We like you," Rarity said.

"Yeah, you're the best big sister ever!" Pinkie Pie said. "And we're all super-psyched that you're going to get some action today!"

"And even if things don't work out with Big Mac, we'll still love you," Rainbow Dash said.

Small tears formed in Fluttershy's eyes. "You four are the best...I'm so happy...and scared..." she mumbled.

The Bennet girls soon found themselves in a group hug, with Fluttershy at the center. "Don't worry," Rarity said. "Nothing is going to ruin your big moment with Mr. Macintosh."

That was when Mrs. Bennet entered the room. "Girls, why are you all cooped up in—AAAAAA!"

"Mother, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, concerned.

Mrs. Bennet grabbed her chest and gasped loudly. "Fluttershy! You're all dressed up! You—_you're going to become Mrs. Fluttershy Apple Bennet Bingley!_"

"...I spoke too soon," Rarity said.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Bennet was marching all over the sitting room, lecturing Fluttershy on how to win Mr. Macintosh's heart. Mr. Bennet, who was sitting in his usual chair, tried to protect Fluttershy from his wife's onslaught, while the other girls looked on.

"I _knew_ you two were destined to be together," Mrs. Bennet said. "The fact that you want to go see him is living proof of that."

"And the fact that you're interfering is proof that everything will go horribly wrong," Mr. Bennet said. "Why not leave the girls alone? I think asking Mr. Macintosh to a picnic is more than good enough."

"Good enough!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Don't be foolish! You don't trap a husband with a napkin; you trap him with a net!"

Mr. Bennet sighed. "_Please_ tell me that you're not planning on foal-napping Mr. Macintosh and locking him in the basement until he agrees to marry Fluttershy," he said. "I'd _really _hate to get the police involved."

Mrs. Bennet honestly considered that plan for a moment, before dismissing it. "No," she said. "I'm saying that Fluttershy shouldn't bring Mr. Macintosh a small picnic lunch. She should bring him a large _dinner!_"

By this point, Fluttershy had curled herself up into a ball, and she wished she had the ability to disappear. "Um...that's too much," she mumbled.

Mr. Bennet nodded at his eldest daughter encouragingly. "Yes, I think a picnic lunch is the superior plan," he said. "She and Mr. Macintosh will have a much better time, if they are _alone._"

"Besides," Rainbow Dash said. "The weather team scheduled rain for tonight. The only time Fluttershy can visit Sweet Apple Acres is during the day."

"That's exactly my point," Mrs. Bennet said. "If Mr. Macintosh is half the gentlecolt I think he is, he won't let Fluttershy go home in the rain. He'll let her spend the night at Sweet Apple Acres with him!"

Fluttershy moaned. "I can't stay overnight with a stallion!" she said. "What will everypony say?"

"And another thing," Mrs. Bennet said. "That dress is _far_ too loose-fitting. We need to get you into a full-body corset, immediately. Losing a few inches will work wonders."

"Fluttershy isn't fat!" Rainbow Dash said hotly.

"Yeah, compared to me, she's got the most healthy diet ever!" Pinkie Pie said.

Fluttershy brought a hoof to her left wing and rubbed it, worriedly. "Tight clothing hurts my wings," she said. "And I like the outfit Rarity made..."

"Wings? What do you need your wings for?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "Mr. Macintosh is an Earth pony, so you need to _look_ like an Earth pony to get his attention! Strap those wings to your sides!"

"I think it's better for Mr. Macintosh to like Fluttershy for who she is, not who she pretends to be," Rainbow Dash said.

"Ridiculous!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Do you think _I_ was honest with suitors, when I was being courted? Why, to this day, my husband _still_ doesn't know my real age!"

"My dear wife," Mr. Bennet said. "You can't hide the truth from me. I know for a fact that you're forty-five—"

"THIRTY-TWO!" Mrs. Bennet yelled.

"Um, I'm twenty-two," Fluttershy said.

"No, if Mr. Macintosh asks, you're nineteen," Mrs. Bennet said. "And _do _stop questioning me about this. As the only married woman in this household, I can assure you that my stallion-catching tricks never fail."

* * *

So it was that Fluttershy left for Sweet Apple Acres, ten minutes before the scheduled rainstorm. Her family wished her well as she left the house. Rarity frowned as she saw that Fluttershy was walking a bit awkwardly in the tight clothes her mother made her wear.

An hour later, there was a knock on the front door of the Carousel Boutique. It was Derpy Hooves, the faithful town messenger.

"Message from Sweet Apple Acres, for the Bennet Family!" Derpy said, saluting.

"Ah, Miss Hooves," Mr. Bennet said. "We've been expecting you. Is Fluttershy going to spend the night at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Bennet," Derpy said.

"See?" Mrs. Bennet said. "I _told_ you my plan would work."

"They said she's staying there because of...um...what was it?" Derpy asked. She scratched her head. "New...knew...pneumonia! That's it! She's staying there because she got pneumonia!"

_"What?"_ Mrs. Bennet screeched.

"Yeah, I saw her, and she's too sick to walk," Derpy said. "Who decided to let her go outside in the middle of a rainstorm?"

Everypony glared at Mrs. Bennet, who chuckled weakly. "Oops."


	6. Chapter 5

"One of us should go to look after Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said.

"I volunteer," Rarity said. "I'll leave immediately, and you can all visit on the morrow."

"You can't go to Sweet Apple Acres right now. It's still raining!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"I'll take the carriage," Rarity said.

"No, you can't go out this late at—"

"Let Rarity be," Mr. Bennet said, stepping forward. "The last pony our daughters should listen to right now is you."

"Mr. Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed.

"I like to think that I am a reasonable pony," Mr. Bennet said, in a tone of forced calm. "I put up with a lot of silly nonsense about stallions and marriages, because I love you. But I draw the line at almost murdering one of my daughters!"

"It was a dreadful accident—"

"NO!" Mr. Bennet said, clomping his hooves on the ground. "You should never have interfered in the first place! Fluttershy wanted to have lunch with Mr. Macintosh, and that was perfectly reasonable! I told you this! Fluttershy told you this! _Everypony_ agreed a lunch would be sufficient!"

"I...just thought...dinner..." Mrs. Bennet said, sounding more like Fluttershy than herself.

"Instead, _you forced Fluttershy _to leave during a rainstorm," Mr. Bennet said. "Now she's lying on her deathbed. If she doesn't come out of this alive, I...I..."

"You'll dismiss me?" Mrs. Bennet gasped.

"I'm not sure what I'll do," Mr. Bennet said. He turned around. "In any case, Fluttershy's bed is now available, and I suggest you make use of it. You certainly shall _not_ be sleeping in our bedroom tonight. Nor tomorrow, nor the next."

"Husband!" Mrs. Bennet said, grabbing Mr. Bennet's hoof. "I didn't mean for this to happen!"

A tear appear in Mr. Bennet's eye. "I want to be alone right now," he said. "Fluttershy is...she could be...where do we keep the key to the liquor cabinet?"

* * *

Rarity took the carriage to Sweet Apple Acres, but the farm was not designed for carriage traffic. She had to walk the last hundred yards on hoof, and by the time she arrived at the front door, she had been thoroughly rained on. Her hair was disheveled, and her petticoat had mud all over it, but she didn't care in the slightest.

Big Macintosh was at Sweet Apple Acres with his sisters and, much to Rarity's displeasure, Mr. Darcy. Darcy's mouth fell open in shock, when he saw Rarity's wet mane.

"Dear me," Mr. Darcy said. "Are _all_ the mares in Ponyville so impetuous, as to walk in the rain without an umbrella?"

"I had no time to retrieve one," Rarity said. "My first priority was ensuring my sister's health."

Mr. Darcy nodded. "I confess I would probably act in a similar manner, were my sister Fleur to fall ill. Still, it is unseemly for a mare to appear—"

"Perhaps I did not make myself clear," Rarity said. "_Fluttershy_ is my first priority, not engaging in idle chatter. Where is she?"

"We put her upstairs, in a guest room," Big Macintosh said. "I can take you there immediately."

"Please do," Rarity said.

"Hold it!" Applejack said. "First, get a towel from the linen closet and dry off! We can't have you trackin' mud all over the house."

Rarity scowled at her, then trotted off with Big Mac to get a towel. Applejack snorted, then walked over to Mr. Darcy, who watched Rarity leave from across the room. "What is _with_ the mares in that family?" Applejack asked. "Do those fools _want _to catch their death of cold?"

"...Very attractive," Mr. Darcy muttered.

_"What?"_ Applejack said loudly.

Mr. Darcy shook his head. "Sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment there," he said. "What did you say, Miss Applejack?"

"You were makin' goo-goo eyes at that mare!" Applejack accused.

"I was _not!_" Mr. Darcy said. "I would never pay attention to a mare with such a bold attitude and...passionate devotion to her family and...long silky hair which reaches to the ground..."

Applejack snorted. "Typical stallion," she said. "A mare comes in, looking like a tramp, and all of a sudden, she has your complete attention. I'll have you know that's the mare you refused to dance with last night."

"The—what?" Mr. Darcy asked. "No, you misunderstand. The mare I refused to dance with was that plain-looking unicorn with the purple mane and—"

He paused. Miss Bennet _did _look a good deal like the mare who had just left the room. If she was the same mare he had declined to dance with...

"I...how do you know about that?" Mr. Darcy asked. "I didn't tell anyone, besides your brother."

"Shucks, everypony knows," Applejack said. "The story of you turning her down was the biggest gossip of the party."

Mr. Darcy gulped. "Oh, dear," he said.

* * *

Fluttershy was lying in a bed with thick covers, despite her complaints that it felt too warm. Rarity flung herself over her ailing sister's body, while Mr. Macintosh stood nearby in sober silence.

"Fluttershy, don't die!" Rarity sobbed. "You have too much to live for!"

"I...I'll be fine," Fluttershy said with a weak smile. She coughed heavily.

Rarity brushed her sister's hair aside. "Are you all right? Do you need water? An extra pillow?"

Fluttershy coughed some more. "I just...I need rest..."

"Your constitution is too delicate for a struggle like this," Rarity said. "If only we could afford a doctor! A thousand curses upon Collins!"

"Er...what?" Big Macintosh asked.

Rarity explained. Their father's estate made about a quarter of a million bits per year. Since Equestrian law favored male inheritors, and all of the Bennet children were female, most of the family's money went to an unknown cousin named Mr. Collins.

"That _slime_ Collins took advantage of a legal loophole!" Rarity said angrily. "I don't care if there are fewer stallions than mares! That doesn't mean they should get preferential treatment! He's been stealing our money for years, even though he's just a colt!"

"That doesn't seem fair at all," Big Macintosh agreed. He shuffled towards the doorway.

"Where are you going?" Rarity asked.

"To get a doctor," he said. "Since y'all can't afford one, I'll pay for it. I don't want to see Fluttershy sick any more'n you do."

Rarity was struck by Mr. Macintosh's generosity towards a girl he had only met the night before. "That...that's very kind of you," she said.

"It's the least I can do," Big Mac said. "I'm the reason she was walking in the rain, after all." He nodded, then left the room.

"You know, Fluttershy..." Rarity said softly. "Maybe you have a chance of marrying Mr. Macintosh after all."

Fluttershy coughed.


	7. Chapter 6

"Applebloom, you need to clean up your room," Applejack ordered her sister. "Miss Rarity is going to be using it tonight."

"Whaaaat?" Applebloom whined. "Why?"

"She says that she can't go home, until her sister is better," Applejack said. "Load of hogwash, if you ask me. It's not like she's gonna do something to take away the cold."

"I think the affection she shows for her sister is very pleasing," Mr. Darcy said.

"Don't pay any attention to him," Applejack said. "He's only saying that because he thinks she's pretty."

"Pretty _rude_," Applebloom said. "I'm getting kicked outta my room by some stranger pony? It's not fair!"

"Well, life ain't fair," Applejack said. "And your brother won't listen to sense, because he thinks _Miss Fluttershy_ is pretty. I swear, stallions must have a disease where their brains disappear whenever there's a mare around."

"I take offense at that remark," Mr. Darcy said.

"Then ask yourself this, Mr. Fancypants," Applejack said. "What would _you_ do, if your sister acted like Miss Bennet? Running five miles in the rain?"

"That...would be foolish," Mr. Darcy said.

"Eeyup," Applebloom said. "So where am I gonna sleep tonight?"

"You'll be with me," Applejack said. "Unless somepony else decides to spend the night here. How many guest rooms do ponies think there are on a farmhouse?"

The sisters continued talking for some time, until Big Macintosh stepped into the sitting-room with news. "The doctor says it'll take a few days, but Miss Fluttershy should be fine," he announced.

"Great!" Applebloom said. She was pleased, because it meant she would get her room back all the sooner.

"That's good news," Applejack said.

Mr. Darcy smirked at Applejack. "So you're concerned about Miss Fluttershy's health now?"

"Always have been," Applejack said. "Her sister might not be too bright, but Fluttershy's certainly a sweet girl. I wish with all my heart that she was well settled in life, but with such low connections as her father and mother can provide, I am afraid there is no chance of it."

"Sweetie Belle told me they have a rich uncle somewhere," Applebloom said.

"Oh, I'm _sure_ they have a rich uncle," Applejack said. "Where does he live? Dreamland? Cheapville?"

"If all their relatives lived in Cheapville," cried Mr. Macintosh, "it would not make them one jot less agreeable."

"But it certainly must lessen their chances of marrying stallions of any consideration in the world," Mr. Darcy said, frowning slightly.

* * *

Following the doctor's appearance, Fluttershy's health was much improved. She could not leave the bedroom, but the care and attention that Mr. Macintosh lavished upon her made the cold much less dreadful to deal with.

The Bennet family visited the next day, to look after Fluttershy's health. Mrs. Bennet was notably absent from the group. Since they did not want to overwhelm Fluttershy by all visiting her at once, they went to see her in pairs.

While Rainbow Dash and Mr. Bennet visited Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie started up a game of loo in the sitting-room with the others. Rarity, who had enough of the Bingley sisters' company for one day, decided to avoid the card game by reading a book by herself in the corner of the room. Much to her dismay, she soon found that a certain pony was paying more attention to her than the cards.

"Mr. Darcy, I should think that watching me read would not be such an interesting subject to a worldly stallion such as yourself," Rarity said.

"I apologize," Mr. Darcy said. "I was lost in thought. My gaze was not intently directed at you, Miss Rarity."

"Do you often make a habit of doing things you do not intend?" Rarity asked.

Mr. Darcy adjusted his monocle. "I do not," Mr. Darcy said. "I have spent my entire life, avoiding the weaknesses which expose one to ridicule."

"Such as pride and vanity, no doubt," Rarity said.

"Vanity is a weakness, but pride is not," Mr. Darcy said. "Where there is superiority of mind, pride will always be under good regulation."

Rarity turned away to hide a smile. If Mr. Darcy considered himself to be of a superior mind which excluded pride, his life's work was wasted.

"Are you two quite done, then?" Applejack asked, irritated. "It's Darcy's turn."

"Yes, I understand his character now," Rarity said. "Mr. Darcy is absolutely perfect, with no flaws whatsoever. He says so himself."

"I made no such pretension," Mr. Darcy said. "I dare not vouch for my temper. But flaws are inevitable in any pony, for there is a defect in every disposition."

"Yes, and your disposition is to hate everybody," Rarity said.

"And yours must be to willfully misunderstand everyone," Darcy said, smiling.

* * *

Back in the real world, Sweetie Belle interrupted her older sister.

"Rarity, is anything going to happen in this story?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Rarity put down her copy of Pride and Prejudice. "What are you saying? It's been _fascinating_ so far!"

"For the past ten minutes, all they've done is _talk to each other!_" Sweetie Belle complained. "When is it going to be back to the good stuff?"

Rarity sighed, then skipped ahead five chapters in the book.

* * *

Mr. Macintosh and Mr. Bennet came down the stairs, laughing like old friends. "Girls, time to go!" Mr. Bennet said.

The girls lined up, and Mr. Macintosh smiled. "I must compliment you on your family," said he. "I am constantly amazed at how accomplished all young ladies are."

"All young ladies, accomplished?" Mr. Bennet smiled. "I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh, it's certainly true," Mr. Macintosh said. "They are all so talented and intelligent. I feel overwhelmed merely talking to one lady, much less five."

"Nonsense," Mr. Darcy said. "That is a matter of exaggeration. In my life, I have not know more than a half-dozen mares who are _really_ accomplished."

"Then you must expect too much out of mares," Rarity said.

"Hardy," Mr. Darcy said. "I believe that no pony can be accomplished, unless she knows singing, music, drawing, dancing and the modern languages. Unicorns must know a wide variety of magic, pegasi must know how to fly, and ponies of all types should be avid readers."

"That's quite a list of accomplishments," Mr. Bennet said.

"Indeed," Rarity said. "With such requirements, I find it astonishing that you know _any_ accomplished mares. But I sincerely doubt you believe anyone besides yourself to be accomplished. Good day, Mr. Dercy."

_Dercy?_ Darcy wondered, as the Bennet Family left the house. Applejack walked over to Mr. Darcy and put her hoof on his shoulder.

"Tough luck, lover boy," Applejack said. "But in case you couldn't tell, she doesn't like you very much."

"The feeling is mutual!" Mr. Darcy insisted.

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that," Applejack said.

"Now, AJ, don't tease my best friend," Big Macintosh said. He put his arm around Mr. Darcy. "If you like Miss Rarity so much, maybe I could convince Fluttershy to put in a good word for you."

"Augh!" Mr. Darcy cried, throwing off the Bingley siblings.


	8. Chapter 7

It was four days, before Fluttershy was well enough to travel home. Her sisters all went to Sweet Apple Acres to pick her up, and they were happy to see her out of bed and walking around.

"Thank you for your hospitality," Fluttershy said before leaving.

"It was my pleasure," Mr. Macintosh said. "Just try not to get sick again, okay?"

Fluttershy furtively looked left and right, then kissed Mr. Macintosh on the cheek. "Thanks again," she said.

"Eeee...yup," Mr. Macintosh said. He was too stunned to say anything else.

Fluttershy giggled slightly. Mr. Darcy frowned at her forward manner, and his eyes unconsciously drifted towards Rarity. Disgust covered her face, when she realized he was staring at her again.

_Why does he keep looking at me?_ she wondered. _He made it quite clear at the dance that he hates me, and the feeling is mutual._

"All right, that's enough of that," Applejack said, stepping forward and shooing the Bennets out the door. "Y'all have a safe trip home, now!"

"Bye, Sweetie Belle!" Applebloom said.

Fluttershy let out a cry of delight as the group walked off of the farm. "It's so nice to be outside again!" she said.

"Sure, _that's_ why you're smiling," Rainbow Dash said, winking. "It has nothing to do with Big Mac."

"He was so kind and friendly while I was sick!" Fluttershy said. "Oh! But don't tell Mother! She'll get...you know..."

"Super obsessive and start buying wedding dresses?" Pinkie Pie suggested.

"I won't say anything!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Me neither," Rarity said.

"Actually..." Fluttershy said. "Um...I didn't want to say anything before, but...why didn't Mom come to visit me?"

Rarity frowned. "Mother and Father are...they..."

"He hasn't spoken to her in days," Rainbow Dash said. "He stopped talking to her once you got sick."

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy said. "I don't want them to fight because of me..."

* * *

Fluttershy's worries were dispelled, when the front door to the Carousel Boutique was opened. Inside the main room, the Bennet parents were running around the room and giggling like foals.

"Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" Mr. Bennet sang.

"Hold still, you slippery eel!" Mrs. Bennet said. She tackled her husband and smothered him with kisses. He grabbed her head and pulled her in closer for a deeper kiss.

"Ew!" Sweetie Belle said. "Grown-up love!"

Rainbow Dash covered Sweetie Belle's eyes.

"Um...hello?" Fluttershy called. "We're back!"

The two parents got up quickly from the ground, where they had been rolling around. Smoothing down his shirt, Mr. Bennet said, "Girls! We weren't expecting you back so soon!"

"Clearly," Rarity said dryly.

Mrs. Bennet enveloped Fluttershy in a large hug. "Oh, my darling! It's such a joy to see you again! I hope your half-week with Mr. Bingley was productive!"

"I...um..."

"I am sure nothing inappropriate happened," Rainbow Dash said. She put on a fake accent, imitating Rarity's voice. "Unlike _some_ mares, Fluttershy does not run around houses, playing chase with stallions!"

Mrs. Bennet blushed. "Your father and I are married! It's perfectly natural for us to act like..."

"Teenagers?" Pinkie Pie asked. "And you're always telling me that I need to grow up and act like an adult! For shame!"

"Yes, well, your mother and I have patched things up," Mr. Bennet said. "In any event, I have some news for all of you girls. I received a letter in the mail, which says we are having a dinner guest tonight."

"A dinner guest? Who?"

Mr. Bennet smiled. "He is both a gentleman and a stranger."

"Mr. Bingley, I am sure!" Mrs. Bennet said. "We will have to set up extra food for him! The best way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach!"

"It is not Mr. Bingley," said her husband. "It is a pony whom I never saw in my whole life."

"Just tell us who it is already!" Sweetie Belle said.

"You girls have _no_ appreciation from dramatic revelations," Mr. Bennet sighed. "The guest is our cousin, Mr. Collins."

"The stallion who is stealing the entire estate from under our muzzles?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "I shall have nothing to do with him!"

"Your opinion may change, when you read the letter he sent," Mr. Bennet said. He gave the letter to Fluttershy, to read out loud.

"Hunstrod, near Trotterham, Kent. 15th October.

Dear Mr. Bennet,

The disagreement between yourself and my late father always bothered me. Now that my father is no longer with us, I see no reason for me to continue his campaign against your family.

Specifically, I wish to alleviate your concerns about my inheritance of the Longhorn Estate. It is my most earnest desire to repair our broken family, by making amends to you and your lovely daughters. I assure you that there is a special way in which I alone can please them, but more on that later.

I have recently gained a distinguished patron, the Right Honorable Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh. She is a most wonderful mare, the like of which I have not met elsewhere. She has graciously granted me the opportunity to go on holiday for a fortnight, and as my travels will take me near Ponyville, I immediately thought of you.

If you should have no objection to receiving me into your house, I request the satisfaction of meeting you and your family. I shall arrive on Monday, November 18th, by four o'clock.

I remain, dear sir,  
With respectful compliments to your lady and daughters,  
Your well-wisher and friend,

SPIKE COLLINS

PS. I'm a dragon."

"Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaat?" Mrs. Bennet yelled. The other Bennets soon burst forth with their own thoughts and feelings on the letter.

"Who is this Lady Chrysalis?"

"What does he mean by pleasing us?"

"A _dragon?_"

"I hope he talks less than he writes."

"We can give him a new pony party!"

* * *

Spike was true to his letter. At precisely four o'clock, he knocked on the door of Carousel Boutique and was received into the house. He was still a young dragon, but he spoke with much ease and at great length.

"I have come here to make amends," Spike said. "It would be wonderful if our two families were to be..._united_, if you know what I mean."

"What does he mean?" Rainbow Dash whispered to Rarity.

"I have no idea," Rarity whispered back.

"I had heard much of the beauty of your daughters, but in this case, the rumors have fallen short of the truth," Spike said. His eye lingered on Rarity. "I daresay, I have not seen such lovely young women in all my life."

"Um...thank you?" Rarity said, a little uncomfortable.

"Did I mention that, by dragon laws, I'm old enough to be married?" Spike said. "And by most fortunate coincidence, your three eldest daughters are of marrying age as well."

"Why, yes!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Fluttershy has had great success with her newest suitor. In fact, I would be surprised if she does not get a proposal within a few weeks."

Fluttershy blushed and mumbled something about Big Macintosh.

"Congratulations," Spike said. "I hope that one of your other daughters will soon get a proposal as well." He winked at Rainbow Dash.

It soon became apparent that Spike had come to the Bennet family with a wife in view, as he meant to choose one of the daughters, if he found them as pretty and amiable as he had heard. Marriage was his plan of amends for inheriting their father's estate, and he thought it was an excellent one, full of eligibility and suitableness, as well as excessively generous on his part.

The Bennet girls, however, could not disagree more. Even Pinkie Pie, who usually enjoyed outlandish things, had no pleasure in considering a relationship with a dragon or a cousin, much less both. Though dragons age differently than ponies, the age difference between Spike and the others seemed an insurmountable challenge.

The challenge became all the greater, as they learned more about Spike himself. He enjoyed talking to no end, and he particularly enjoyed brown-nosing other ponies. Indeed, this was how he had received the patronage of Lady Catherine. His other qualities were less than commendable; he was he was childish, lacking in focus, easily excited, and he made miserable attempts to flirt with the Bennet daughters.

Mr. Bennet disliked him almost immediately. Meeting Spike only confirmed the notion that he did not deserve to inherit the Bennet property. Mrs. Bennet's feelings were the exact opposite of those of her husband. She was elated to have a suitor who wished to marry one of her daughters! A marriage would not only make one of her daughters happy, but it would ensure that the Bennet property stayed with the Bennet family! There was no way that this courtship could end poorly!

Emboldened by Mrs. Bennet's promptings, Spike asked to speak to one of the daughters privately, before dinner. Much to Rarity's dismay, he chose her.

"Rarity, was it?" Spike asked. "You are quite beautiful."

"Thank you, _Cousin_," Rarity said. She nervously eyed the exit.

"So...have you ever kissed a dragon?" Spike asked. His eyebrows wiggled expectantly.

Rarity ran out of the room as quickly as possible.

"She's feisty," Spike said to himself. "I like her already."


	9. Chapter 8

Pinkie Pie trotted into the girls room and removed her traveling coat.

"It's done," she announced. "Spike's 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' is all set for tomorrow night."

"Great," Rarity said. "Maybe he can find another pony to obsess over, and leave me alone."

"He's not so bad," Fluttershy said.

"He doesn't have a crush on _you!_" Rarity said. "He's been following me around for two days now, whining about pointless things in his nasally voice!"

"Don't worry, I invited lots of mares to his party," Pinkie said. "And _stallions!_ You should have seen Shining Armor in his uniform! He's so _cuuuute!_"

"You think _every_ stallion in the Royal Guard is cute," Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

"Can I help it if those uniforms are the most attractive things I've ever seen?" Pinkie asked. "Next to Rarity's summer line of dresses, of course."

"Am I invited, or is this another adults-only party?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Of course you can come, squirt!" Pinkie said, rubbing her sister's hair. "Your friend Applebloom'll be there. I invited her family and Mr. Darcy yesterday."

"Big Macintosh is going to be there?" Fluttershy asked. "Oh...oh my!"

Rarity groaned. "Did you _have_ to invite Mr. Darcy?" she asked. "He's even worse than Spike!"

"I know," Rainbow Dash said. "Yesterday, he lectured me for an hour on a gem pizza he ate _two years ago_. I think he only likes you for your gems, Rare."

Rarity threw herself on her bad. "Well, at least tell me that—"

"Sorry, Mom's gonna be there, too!"

"Ugh!" Rarity shouted into her pillow. A week ago, her mother hated Spike for taking the family inheritance. Now that he intended to marry one of the Bennet girls, she was Spike's biggest supporter. Mrs. Bennet was always forcing Rarity to sit next to Spike at mealtimes, and she forbade Rarity from leaving the room when Spike told one of his long, pointless stories.

* * *

Spike's party was held at Luna Lodge, named after its owner, Lady Luna. Lady Luna was the closest thing Ponyville had to royalty; she had been given her title by Queen Celestia herself. Lady Luna was quite wealthy, due to the military achievements of her husband in the war against Prance.

Lady Luna's greatest joy in life was playing matchmaker for ponies in town, especially with her two children, Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Needless to say, Lady Luna and Mrs. Bennet were good friends. At the start of the party, the two of them practically shoved Fluttershy into Mr. Bingley's arms.

Rarity tried to hide herself in a corner to avoid everypony, but her best—and only—unicorn friend quickly found her.

"Hello, Rarity," Twilight said. "How goes it?"

"Twilight! You're not wearing the dress I made for you!"

"Oh, I'm saving it for the Netherfield Ball on Tuesday," Twilight said. "I heard this party was for one of your relatives. Who?"

"Spike Collins," Rarity said. "He's never visited us before now, and I honestly wish things had stayed that way."

"Is he that bad?" Twilight asked.

"He's worse," Rarity said. "He keeps trying to court me because I am, quote, 'one smokin' hot mamma with a dynamite flank'."

"Ouch," Twilight said. "_How_ is he related to you, again?"

"We're cousins," Rarity said. "On my father's side. I think we might be half-cousins, actually."

Their conversation was interrupted by the dragon himself. Spike, of course, wanted to spend some time with Rarity, so he walked over, twirling his bow tie. "Laaaadies," he said. "It's your lucky night! You get to hang out with the Spike-meister!"

Rarity looked as if somepony had stepped in something smelly.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is _all mine_," Spike said, smiling in what he thought was a seductive way. In reality, it looked like he had stomach cramps. "I'm sure you've noticed by now that I work out regularly. Every day, I do at least four sit-ups!"

He was, of course, counting "getting out bed" and "leaving his chair after mealtime" as a sit-up.

"Uh...yeah," Twilight said. She was a little disgusted when she saw a food stain on Spike's fat little tummy.

"Rarity and I are getting really close," Spike said, wrapping his claw around Rarity's leg. "She's really pretty, and I'm...me! We must be the best looking ponies in town!"

"You're not a pony," Rarity said curtly. "And please, don't touch my leg."

"Where do you want me to touch you, Babe?" Spike asked.

Rarity grit her teeth and tried to calm herself down by imagining what it would be like to slap Spike.

"Piano!" Twilight blurted out.

"Huh?"

"Rarity and I were about to play the piano," Twilight said, nudging her friend. "Sorry to cut the conversation short, but duty calls!"

"Oh, yes!" Rarity said. "Play we must!"

Spike pouted as the two mares walked away to the other side of the room. Rarity complimented Twilight on her quick thinking, and the two of them played some small songs together.

Rarity's performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. Neither she nor Twilight had very good voices; usually, they had somepony else sing in their places. A few ponies gathered to hear the music, most surprisingly, Mr. Darcy. For a brief moment, Rarity saw an admiring look on Mr. Darcy's face as he watched the two friends. The instant he saw she was looking him him, he frowned, turned away and wandered off quickly.

_What is he up to?_ Rarity wondered.

Pinkie Pie took Rarity's place at the piano, and she played some jaunty music for the ponies to dance to. Rarity made it a point to avoid the dance floor, although her friend Twilight went in search of a dance partner. Twilight soon found herself at the mercy of Spike, who unsurprisingly had been unable to find a partner himself.

After some time, the hostess of the party came to the area. "Good evening, Fair Rarity," Lady Luna said. "Your sister looks quite happy with him, does she not?"

Rarity glanced at the dance floor. Fluttershy was dancing very close to Big Macintosh, with a dreamy look on her face.

"They certainly do," Rarity said. "I have not seen Fluttershy dance this much since...well, ever."

"Fluttershy? Nay!" Lady Luna said. "I speak of thy sister Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash was with a muscle-bound white pegasus. He looked like he was shouting something enthusiastically. Rainbow Dash shouted right back in his face.

"Er...they seem...emotional," Rarity said.

"Yes, the emotions have been doubled!" Lady Luna said, clapping her hooves together. "Young love is wonderful, is it not? And I have heard that you, in particular, have no less than two stallions vying for thine affections. Perhaps some of your luck can rub off on my daughter?"

"I must protest," Rarity said. "Indeed, if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck with the stallions at all."

"Then you deny the rumors?" Luna asked. "They say that Mr. Spike Collins is especially fond of you."

"And I sincerely wish he was not. I could see myself falling for a pegasus or Earth pony, but I assure you that I have no interest in dating a creature of another species."

"A fair point," Luna said. "But what of Mr. Fancypants Darcy? Of all the visitors in town, he is certainly the most charming. Everypony knows he is quite handsome and rich."

"Yes, well, some ponies believe wealth and handsomeness are the same thing," Rarity said dismissively. "Mr. Darcy has been foul to me, ever since I first met him. He has demonstrated no affection for me in the slightest."

"If the rumor I heard from Sweet Apple Acres is true, then he is certainly masking his affections," Lady Luna said. "There is only one way to find out."

Lady Luna left abruptly, and she headed straight for Mr. Darcy. For a moment, Rarity pondered the look she had seen on Mr. Darcy's face, while she was playing piano. Could it be that her music had found an admirer?

Rarity's thoughts were broken off, when Lady Luna returned. She was speaking loudly, with Mr. Darcy at her side. With an air of surprise, she stopped in front of the white unicorn.

"My dear Rarity, why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when there is so much beauty before you."

Mr. Darcy appeared to be extremely surprised at this, though not unwilling. He held out his hoof for Rarity to take, when she instantly drew back with some discomposure, and said, "Indeed, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I was standing here alone, in order to beg for a partner."

Lady Luna frowned at the objection. "You excel so much in the dance, Miss Rarity, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you. And though this gentlecolt dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour."

"Yes, Mr. Darcy is all politeness," Rarity said dryly.

"He is, indeed, but considering the inducement, my dear Rarity, we cannot wonder at his complaisance—for who would object to such a partner?"

"I would," Rarity said. She arched her eyebrows, then turned away. Lady Luna was much disappointed at this, but, as is often the case with stallions, Mr. Darcy's opinion of Rarity was not injured in the slightest, after being rejected.


	10. Chapter 9

The following day, Mrs. Bennet offered to take Pinkie Pie into town for some shopping. Sweetie Belle begged to go along, and when Rarity heard Spike would remain at home, she asked to join the party.

Mrs. Bennet was reluctant to let Sweetie Belle and Rarity accompany her and Pinkie Pie, and the reason for this soon became apparent. They were no more than two minutes away from home, when the group encountered Shining Armor. Mrs. Bennet promptly fainted.

"Oh, dear me!" Mrs. Bennet said. "I am dizzy today!"

"We can take you home," Rarity said.

"NO!" Mrs. Bennet shouted. "I mean, ahem, I do not wish to spoil Pinkie's trip. If only there were a handsome stallion who could serve as her guardian!"

She looked pointedly at Shining Armor, who adjusted his uniform. "I could watch over your daughters," he offered.

"Such a gentleman!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"It's no real bother," Shining said. "I was actually on my way to meet a friend in town."

Mrs. Bennet heartily thanked Shining Armor and told him to keep a very close eye on Pinkie Pie. As she left for home, Mrs. Bennet whispered to Rarity, "Don't ruin your sister's chances." Rarity groaned.

Once Mrs. Bennet was gone, Pinkie Pie sidled up next to Shining Armor. In a happy voice voice, Pinkie said, "So...Shining. Mom said that you like pink ponies!"

"I do," Shining Armor said, taking a step away from Pinkie. "My fiancee, Cadance, is pink."

"Oh," Pinkie Pie said, disappointed. "I didn't know you were engaged." Under her breath, she muttered, "Figures."

"The wedding is going to be in the spring," Shining said. "I'm sure Twilight will want me to invite all of you to come."

"Can I be the flower filly?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Sure!" Shining Armor said.

"Yay!" Sweetie Belle said. She started bouncing with happiness, like her older sister Pinkie usually did.

As the group walked towards town, they chatted about various things. Shining Armor explained that Victorian's Secret, the stallions-only clothing store in Ponyville, was having a large sale that day. Indeed, there seemed to be more stallions walking around town than usual. This, Rarity supposed, was the reason her mother wanted her daughters outside.

Shining Armor apologized, when they reached a store known as Snowflake's Saddles. This was the scheduled location for him to meet up with his friend. They explored the shop for a few minutes until Shining's friend appeared.

Rarity's jaw dropped as she saw Shining's friend approach. He was _definitely_ worth the wait. The stallion's appearance was greatly in his favor; he had all the best part of beauty, a good figure and very pleasing address. He smiled greatly as he was introduced to the ladies.

"Good day," said he, "I am Mr. Wickham."

Rarity let out a giggle, as he kissed her hoof. _Why can't I have suitors like this stallion, instead of suitors like Spike?_ she wondered.

Mr. Wickham was a unicorn from the Canterlot area, which is where he met Shining Armor. He claimed to be stopping through town on minor business, although he did not say what sort of business he was involved in. Rarity found him to be a most welcome addition to the party, with his sophisticated air and impressive tone.

As luck would have it, Rarity got to spend a good deal of time, talking with Mr. Wickham, because her two sisters constantly got distracted by shopping. Rarity did not mind this one bit. The more she talked with him, the more she liked him. Unlike many other stallions, he listened attentively when she discussed her fashion and clothing designs.

It was almost as if somepony had reached into Rarity's dreams and found the perfect stallion for her, except...well, there was a curious incident with Mr. Wickham about halfway through the trip.

At this time, the group was going down the road, when in the other direction, they saw Big Macintosh ambling along with his friend, Mr. Darcy. As the two groups grew near, Mr. Darcy caught sight of Rarity and resolutely determined not to fix his eyes upon her. He looked to the left and saw Mr. Wickham.

The effect on both stallions was astonishing. Mr. Darcy's monocle fell off, while Mr. Wickham bit his lip and turned red. He nodded slightly, and Darcy tipped his hat a short distance.

_What just happened here?_ Rarity wondered.

Only Rarity noticed the exchange between the two gentlecolts, because the group's attention was upon Big Macintosh. He earnestly asked how Fluttershy was doing. He was much relieved to hear that she was feeling quite well.

"Do you think she will be going to Netherfield on Tuesday?" he asked.

"Of course!" Sweetie Belle said. "We all are!"

"Yeah, it's going to be great!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I'm sure it will be," Mr. Macintosh said. "Now if you'll excuse us, Darcy and I must be off."

The two of them left, and Rarity saw a hardened glare on Mr. Darcy's face as he passed. She turned to Wickham, whose face was blank and inscrutable. After a few seconds, he shook his head.

"Netherfield," Mr. Wickham said. "Isn't that a few towns over? Why would Mr. Macintosh want to know about that?"

"The Netherfield Ball is on Tuesday," Shining said. "It's a big event around here."

"A ball?" Mr. Wickham asked.

"It's a great party!" Pinkie Pie said. "Almost everypony attends! And it's fun meeting all the ponies who live in Netherfield!"

"I would like to go myself, but alas, I do not have an escort," Rarity said. She fluttered her eyelashes at Mr. Wickham. "It does seem like it would be a lovely time."

He smiled gently. "As long as you are there, Miss Rarity, I am sure the ball cannot be anything other than lovely. I would be honored to escort you."

Rarity smiled genuinely, the strange moment between Wickham and Darcy forgotten. "That is most kind of you, Mr. Wickham!"

"Please," he said, gazing into Rarity's eyes. "Call me Blueblood."


	11. Chapter 10

Rarity stayed close by Blueblood for the rest of the trip, but they didn't get another chance to speak to each other until Pinkie accidentally knocked over a shelf at the bookstore. Sweetie and Shining moved in to help clean up the mess, while Rarity and Blueblood stayed back.

"Your sister has a tremendous amount of energy," Blueblood said. "I find such passion for life to be charming."

"Yes, well, sometimes Pinkie's boundless enthusiasm gets her in trouble," Rarity said.

Blueblood smiled and ran a hoof through his long blonde hair.

"Mr. Blueblood, I don't wish to pry into your private affairs, but...I saw your reaction when we met Mr. Darcy earlier," Rarity said. "Do you two know each other?"

"Ah," Blueblood said, his face falling. "Yes, in fact, the two of us grew up together."

Rarity was greatly astonished at this information, considering the cold exchange between the two. "Then why was he so standoffish towards you? I know he's generally unpleasant and standoffish to everypony, but to treat a foalhood friend that way!"

"The two of us had a falling out," Blueblood said. "I would explain, but I...I do not wish to damage his reputation."

"I can assure you that Mr. Darcy's reputation in Ponyville cannot be worse than it already is," Rarity said. "The stallion is prejudiced against Earth ponies, and his unbearable pride causes him to treat other ponies as lesser beings. You could not find a single pony in town who could say a good word about him."

Blueblood nodded. "Sadly, that sounds just like him. He was always a bit spiteful towards others, even when he was a foal. I believe that he was secretly jealous of my relationship with his father. My father died when I was very young, you see, and the late Mr. Darcy practically raised me as his second son."

"The late Mr. Darcy?" Rarity asked. She found the interest of the subject increasing, and she listened with all her heart. "I take it he is no longer among the living?"

"He died two years ago," Blueblood said. "It was quite a tragedy. Mr. Darcy was one of the best stallions that ever breathed, and the truest friend I ever had. It is a shame his son is his exact opposite, in this regard. It is _his_ fault I am here, you know."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"The senior Darcy left me an inheritance to provide for me," Blueblood said. "Nothing too fancy, just a small house in the country. But when the house became empty and I prepared to move there, Mr. Darcy stepped in. He asserted that I had forfeited all claim to my inheritance due to misbehavior, though I had done nothing wrong. Left without a home, I was forced to join the Royal Guard."

"How awful!" Rarity said. "This is quite shocking! He deserves to be publicly disgraced."

"Since he is a lawyer, and I am not, I can do nothing," Blueblood said. "Out of respect for his departed father, I have not made the affair public. But still, I would highly advise you to never trust that stallion. He is cruel, petty and underhanded."

"There is no need to warn me against creating ties with that stallion," Rarity said. "I have hated him since the moment I first met him, but this, _this_ is practically intolerable! To ruin a pony's life for no reason!"

"Yes, it is a cruel situation," Blueblood said sadly. "I sometimes wonder what my life would be like, if things had turned out differently."

"You poor, poor darling," Rarity said, running her hoof down the side of Blueblood's face. "I wish there was some way I could make things better!"

"I already feel better, being with you," Blueblood said. "Your radiant beauty and refined manner are all the consolation I need."

Rarity blushed, and Blueblood stole a kiss from her. The two of them smiled at each other for a moment, and she leaned in to kiss him again, when they were interrupted by a large gasp.

"Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said. "How could you—I'm telling Mom!"

* * *

Sweetie Belle did indeed tell Mrs. Bennet about Rarity kissing a stallion she had just met. A heated argument about the situation soon took place in Mr. Bennet's study.

"This is the most scandalous thing I've ever heard of!" Mrs. Bennet scolded. "I can't believe one of my daughters is acting like a two-bit trollop! How could you kiss a complete stranger like that?!"

"He's not a bad pony!" Rarity said.

"I don't care if he's Queen Celestia's nephew!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You shouldn't be running around town with strangers, especially when you already have a suitor in Spike! What if he hears about this and decides not to pursue you?"

"Good! I don't _want_ to marry Spike!" Rarity said. "He's immature, he eats like a pig, and besides, he's too short!"

"Not to mention he ate my prized gemstone cufflinks," Mr. Bennet said. "Do you know how much those cost?"

"Now's not the time for your jokes!" Mrs. Bennet said harshly to her husband. She turned on Rarity. "It's a good thing nopony besides Sweetie Belle saw, or you would be the disgrace of the entire town! I have half a mind to forbid you from going to the Netherfield Ball!"

"But I _have_ to go to Netherfield!" Rarity said. "It took me two months to make my dress, and besides, Mr. Blueblood promised he'd take me!"

"He is _not!_" Mrs. Bennet said. "Your lovely cousin Spike is going to take you, and _that_ is _that!_"

"That's not fair!" Rarity said. "You're always interfering with my life! I wish you'd leave me alone and let me make my own decisions! Yes, I met a handsome and nice pony today, and I decided to kiss him! Is that the end of the world? _No! _The only pony who has a problem with it is _you_, because you want to control everything your daughters do!"

"I wouldn't have to control your behavior, if you didn't misbehave so often!" Mrs. Bennet shot back. "You disobedient—"

"—Interfering old nag of a—"

"—Nopony is fooled by your fake accent—"

"—Hairstyle which was out of date when _you_ were young—"

"—Petty, high-maintenance whiner!"

Mr. Bennet put his hooves in his ears and moaned. "Stop yelling, you two! Do you want everypony in the house to hear?"

"We can hear you just fine!" a muffled voice said from outside.

"Pinkie, stop listening at the door," Mr. Bennet said.

"Awww..." Pinkie said. There was the sound of shuffling hooves at the door.

"Rainbow, you should go away, too," Mr. Bennet added.

"How did he know I was there?" Rainbow's voice asked. She, too, left her hiding place in the hallway.

"Now then," Mr. Bennet said. "As far as I can tell, you are both correct. Rarity, you acted improperly today. You should not be romantically involved with a stallion, before introducing him to your parents."

"I apologize for my impropriety," Rarity said lowly.

"...Which is why you'll have to ask him to come here first, before he takes you to the Netherfield Ball," Mr. Bennet said. His wife gasped at this. "If he meets with our approval, the two of you can go together. Until then, you are forbidden from seeing Mr. Blueblood. Is that fair?"

"It is not! What about Spike?" Mrs. Bennet asked indignantly.

"Oh, let him court Rainbow Dash, if he must," Mr. Bennet said. "Something tells me he's not very picky when it comes to mares. Or observant, for that matter."

"Father, thank you!" Rarity cried.

Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "I am displeased with this arrangement."

"My decision is final," Mr. Bennet said firmly. "Now before you two leave, I want you to hug each other and put this mess behind you."

"Do we _have_ to?" Rarity asked, scrunching her face a bit. "I'm not a little foal anymore."

"Yes, you do," Mr. Bennet said. "It's the pony way of settling disputes."

Rarity reluctantly wrapped her arms around her mother. "I love you, Mother," she said.

"I love you, too," she said. "Even though sometimes you—"

"End that sentence there," Mr. Bennet interrupted.

"Right. I love you," Mrs. Bennet said. She squeezed her daughter extra-hard. "Just try to behave a little better in the future, okay?"


End file.
